For parents of children who learn differently, our instinct is to protect. We spend years stepping in as our child’s fiercest advocate—interpreting their frustrations, meeting with teachers, and ensuring their accommodations are being met.

But the ultimate goal of education isn’t just to help our kids survive the classroom; it’s to prepare them for life outside of it. Lake Michigan Academy’s school philosophy includes the art of self-advocacy.

Self-advocacy—the ability to understand your own needs and communicate them clearly to others—is a lifelong skill. Like reading or math, it doesn’t happen overnight. It is a gradual journey that starts with small steps in elementary school and grows into full independence by graduation.

Here is how you can guide your child through the stages of learning to voice their own classroom accommodations.

Upper Elementary (Grades 3–5): Building Self-Awareness

Before a child can ask for what they need, they have to understand why they need it. At this stage, the focus is on removing stigma and helping them connect their feelings to specific solutions.

• Normalize the diagnosis: Talk openly about how their brain works. Use simple language: “Your brain is incredibly creative, but it processes sounds a little differently, which is why reading can feel like a workout.”
• Connect the struggle to the accommodation: Help them see that their accommodations are just tools, like glasses for someone who is nearsighted.
• The First Step: Start incredibly small. Have your child practice making simple, low-stakes requests at home or with a trusted teacher.
• The Elementary Script: Teach your child a basic, two-part sentence template: “When it gets too loud, it’s hard for me to focus. Can I use my headphones?”

Middle School (Grades 6–8): Shifting to Co-Advocacy

Middle school brings a major structural change: moving from one primary classroom teacher to a rotating schedule of multiple teachers. This is the perfect time to shift from managing your child’s needs to coaching them through them.

• Deconstruct the accommodation plan: Sit down with your child and look at their learning plan or accommodation list. Ask them: Which of these actually help you the most? Which ones do you feel uncomfortable using?
• Role-play the conversation: Teachers can seem intimidating to a middle schooler. Practice script-building at the dinner table. Let them play the teacher while you play them and then switch.
• The Next Step: Have your child take the lead on one specific accommodation. For example, make it their job to ask for copies of classroom notes before a lesson begins. You can send a backup email to the teacher, but let your child make the physical or digital request first.

High School (Grades 9–12): Stepping into Independence

By high school, the safety net begins to pull back. In just a few short years, these students will enter college or the workforce, where accommodations are not handed out automatically—they must be requested formally by the individual.

• Involve them in meetings: If your child attends annual education planning or accommodations meetings, they shouldn’t just be sitting in the corner. Have them present a short list of what helps them succeed and what goals they have for the year.
• Email advocacy: High school teachers heavily utilize digital communication. Teach your child how to write a professional email to a teacher when they need an accommodation or an extension.
• The Final Step: By junior or senior year, your role should be purely advisory. If an accommodation is missed, instead of emailing the teacher yourself, debrief with your child: “Why do you think that happened? What email can you send to clarify this before the test on Friday?”

Teaching self-advocacy requires a lot of patience from parents. It is often faster and less stressful to just write the email or make the phone call ourselves. But every time we step back and let our children speak for themselves, we are building their confidence.

When a student learns to raise their hand and say, “I need a quiet space to take this test,” they aren’t just getting a better grade on an exam. They are proving to themselves that their voice matters, that their needs are valid, and that they have the power to shape their own success. Our Grand Rapids students with learning differences graduate as experts on their own minds, and even our part-time program focuses on helping students master the art of self-advocacy.

Ready to find a learning environment where your child can build confidence, independence, and the skills to advocate for themselves? Learn more about admissions at Lake Michigan Academy.